Dear Mom,

I wonder how you feel right now. I wonder what’s in your dreams at this very hour. Mom, I miss when you scratch my itchy head and ask about how my day went. Every time.

Every time I bathe you I see the struggle in your eyes. Every time you take your medicines I see the apprehension in your throat. Every time you go to sleep I feel the silent prayers in your heart. Every time you wake up I see a glimmer of hope in your eyes. But you don’t deserve cancer, Mom. Yes you’re such a fighter, no question about that, but why you? I wish I could donate five or even more of my life years to you just to ease your pain and prolong your stay with us. No beloved mother should go through this heart-crushing battle. The most feared battle in history not even a war veteran can withstand. I can’t stand seeing you like this, Mom. You’re physically there but you’re actually not there. My patience with your cancer is nearing death. 😦 You’ve so much embraced the many battles in your life that you even faced an uninvited guest – the Big C.

I call it the Big Cheater. It easily cheated on us after all the battles we have won. Pardon my anguish, dear God. 😦 Pardon my impatience, Mom. My heart weeps and struggle with prayer every night. This battle we are facing is too much for my sanity and weak heart. So, hear me and help me God. Come Holy Wind, please minister me and fill me today with your Holy Spirit. It should give me great confidence — not self-confidence but God-confidence. If God brings us to it, He will bring us through it. 🙂

Dear Mom, with all my might I sincerely pray and hold on tight to this one bit of hope in my heart.

Love always,

Your fidgety-fighter youngest daughter