My Sunflower Angel

Missing her comes in sunflowers, always reminding me of her sunny attitude and golden heart.

Forever missing you, Mom. I know you’d rather tell me to hush now and smile instead ’cause I got these sunflowers for free. 😀 (Oh, special thanks to UP Diliman’s garden along University Avenue for these lovely blooms). We had fun flower-picking! How I wish heaven had visiting hours, no? We’ll have tall stories to tell that’s for sure. ^_^

Anyway, when it comes to Mom, God knows that my tongue and brain sometimes lack the words to say and express how much I miss her. It’s really hard to put these mixed feelings into words. And so I’ll just leave this as it is.

💛

 

Advertisements

Thank You, Mom


“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. 👸🏻💕👼

Queen of Hearts

image

Queen Vivian

No wonder you won the ‘Queen of Hearts’ pageant for mommies back in the days. You had so much fun. You were so proud as you walk and own the stage wearing the crown that you worked hard for. But the truth is, there’s no need to compete with all the mommies out there because you already won our hearts. And it will take forever to decrown you. 🙂

You will always be my Queen, Mom. Your family and I miss you so much though.  :'(:'(:'(

I love you from heaven and back. 💖💙💗

Dear Mom,

dontletgo

I wonder how you feel right now. I wonder what’s in your dreams at this very hour. Mom, I miss when you scratch my itchy head and ask about how my day went. Every time.

Every time I bathe you I see the struggle in your eyes. Every time you take your medicines I see the apprehension in your throat. Every time you go to sleep I feel the silent prayers in your heart. Every time you wake up I see a glimmer of hope in your eyes. But you don’t deserve cancer, Mom. Yes you’re such a fighter, no question about that, but why you? I wish I could donate five or even more of my life years to you just to ease your pain and prolong your stay with us. No beloved mother should go through this heart-crushing battle. The most feared battle in history not even a war veteran can withstand. I can’t stand seeing you like this, Mom. You’re physically there but you’re actually not there. My patience with your cancer is nearing death. 😦 You’ve so much embraced the many battles in your life that you even faced an uninvited guest – the Big C.

I call it the Big Cheater. It easily cheated on us after all the battles we have won. Pardon my anguish, dear God. 😦 Pardon my impatience, Mom. My heart weeps and struggle with prayer every night. This battle we are facing is too much for my sanity and weak heart. So, hear me and help me God. Come Holy Wind, please minister me and fill me today with your Holy Spirit. It should give me great confidence — not self-confidence but God-confidence. If God brings us to it, He will bring us through it. 🙂

Dear Mom, with all my might I sincerely pray and hold on tight to this one bit of hope in my heart.

Love always,

Your fidgety-fighter youngest daughter

<credit to owner of photo — melTODAYi.wordpress.com>

I’m Sorry Mac-Mac

My New Year started with an emotional bang when my precious cat, Mac-Mac, died on the very first day. He was 9 years old.

I was completely heartbroken words just can’t describe it. To be honest, I still feel guilty for not being there for him when he started getting ill (again). I know how stressful it was for his immediate family (I can’t thank my friend Analyn enough for taking care of him) to attend to his illness because I saw the pictures of him trying to get up and wanting to walk out of the clinic already. He looked very curious…very curious why I was not around. It was heartbreaking. 😥

A part of me also died when I heard the news. What a news to welcome the new year. 😦 I hated myself that I wasn’t holding him when he died. It was the worst feeling not a damn thing can assuage the guilt and sadness inside me. I should’ve blogged about this last month, right?

No. Because I still couldn’t collect myself. I am so sorry my Mac-Mac. I love you so much. I can’t go on and type the words anymore. The fact that I was not with you is never going to change. 😦

Image

Thank you for the beautiful friendship, Mac. I know in this way I can give the love I failed to give during my MIA days when you needed me most. I hope this writing will heal my heart and I know you can hear me from the other side. Whew. I feel better now because of another realization. My emotions were selfish though. I should be thankful you died in the hands of my loving friends and for laying you down in a nice, warm environment and not in the clinic or in the streets of Kamias ’cause that’s not going to happen either.

Again, thank you Boss Mac for the wonderful 6 years. I will find comfort in remembering those memories with you. Always. 🙂

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. :)

You are nothing short of amazing, Mom, and you will always be the best for us. We love you lots! ❤

Image

 

In Everything Give Thanks :)

It seemed like the sun and the sky conspired to greet me a warm ‘happy birthday’ today. It rained not too much and the wind blew me a kiss not too rough. 😀 Just enough gifts from the nature to be thankful for. Thank you Lord Jesus for another breath of life. 🙂

Image

And here, a cute, birthday card arrived in the doorstep yesterday! Thank you so much, Jing. You always find ways to surprise me. I got teary-eyed when I opened the card with two of its pages showing me a doodle of love from Jibril and a lovely message from you. We can’t wait to see you all in July. ♥

Image

Hey little Stitch, you don’t know how you made Tati Esing (and Tati Inky too!) very happy with your epic artwork! 🙂 We love you so much!

Image

Now comes the fun birthday twitpic. Thank you, Inky, for these fun-tastic summer photos—reminds me to always smile when things go wrong. That’s right, give thanks in everything, love life, smile and be happy.

In honor of my birthday, I am glad to share with you the ‘20 Acts of Kindness That Won’t Cause You a Penny‘ to live by, all yours to keep and grow on and is absolutely free for sharing. 🙂

1. Open doors for others
2. Return shopping carts for people
3. Volunteer at the local food pantry, school, library, etc.
4. Thank someone for t…heir hard work
5. Write notes of appreciation to anyone who’s made a difference
6. Look for ways to serve people in your family
7. Bring in the neighbor’s garbage can/recycling bins
8. Help a coworker meet a deadline
9. Offer to watch a young mother’s child for a few hours
10. Take a friend/neighbor’s dog for a walk (and give him a nice brushing afterward!)
11. Mow/rake/sweep for an unsuspecting neighbor
12. Spend an hour picking up trash at a local park, beach or roadway
13. Go through your clothes and donate items to a local shelter
14. Spend an hour at the local nursing home assisting with crafts or reading to residents.
15. Adopt a soldier as a penpal
16. Give someone a compliment
17. Donate blood
18. Leave a positive comment on a blog
19. Let someone in line go ahead of you
20. (My share ☺) Sm:)e even under the invincible summer solstice

Let’s all keep well. 🙂

with bffs

with bffs

PS: To all of my lovely friends (you know who you are ☺), thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the birthday messages and advanced treats. I love y’all!

From Thailand with L♥ve :)

I received another surprise in the mail today and it’s a ‘thoughtful package’ a.k.a. a postcard from a dearly missed family in Thailand. It’s from my ‘ate’ (big sister) Jing who is now based in Bangkok with her husband and son. Jing is the most beautiful ‘ate’ God has given us. Beautiful–functioning from within and out. 🙂 She uses her energy in a productive and creative way like this one, her thoughts running a great deal out of a cute, baby elephant taking its little steps just to find and surprise me. I can’t thank her enough for the little things she does for the family. She never forgets about us. 🙂

Image

Sawasdeekah Dumbo 🙂

I can honestly say that the personal touch of a postcard or any message in the same form will never be outdone by online communication (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) which we are abusing nowadays. I’m cool with Twitter but not anymore with Facebook. Privacy is starting to trample on FB and the obsessing/selfies on Instagram is annoying me big time.  I’m talking sh*t about it again stop me! 😀 Anywaaays, looky here. Oh the vintage feeling is so good it’s like reading stuff with the dandy of the eighties. So cool. 😀

Image

It doesn’t get any sweeter than this. 🙂