I’m Sorry Mac-Mac

My New Year started with an emotional bang when my precious cat, Mac-Mac, died on the very first day. He was 9 years old.

I was completely heartbroken words just can’t describe it. To be honest, I still feel guilty for not being there for him when he started getting ill (again). I know how stressful it was for his immediate family (I can’t thank my friend Analyn enough for taking care of him) to attend to his illness because I saw the pictures of him trying to get up and wanting to walk out of the clinic already. He looked very curious…very curious why I was not around. It was heartbreaking. 😥

A part of me also died when I heard the news. What a news to welcome the new year. 😦 I hated myself that I wasn’t holding him when he died. It was the worst feeling not a damn thing can assuage the guilt and sadness inside me. I should’ve blogged about this last month, right?

No. Because I still couldn’t collect myself. I am so sorry my Mac-Mac. I love you so much. I can’t go on and type the words anymore. The fact that I was not with you is never going to change. 😦

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Thank you for the beautiful friendship, Mac. I know in this way I can give the love I failed to give during my MIA days when you needed me most. I hope this writing will heal my heart and I know you can hear me from the other side. Whew. I feel better now because of another realization. My emotions were selfish though. I should be thankful you died in the hands of my loving friends and for laying you down in a nice, warm environment and not in the clinic or in the streets of Kamias ’cause that’s not going to happen either.

Again, thank you Boss Mac for the wonderful 6 years. I will find comfort in remembering those memories with you. Always. 🙂

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